Stress Relief

Here are some steps you can take toward relieving stress:
1. Don’t just sit there.
Move! According to many psychologists, motion creates emotion. You might notice that when you are idle, it’s easier to become depressed. Your heart rate slows down, less oxygen travels to your brain, and you are slumped somewhere
in a chair blocking air from reaching your lungs. I challenge you right now, regardless of how you are feeling, to get up and walk around at a fast tempo.
Maybe you might want to go to an empty room and jump up and down a little bit. It may sound silly but the results speak for themselves. Try it now for a few minutes. It works like magic.
Exercise can be a great stress buster. People with anxiety disorders might worry that aerobic exercise could bring on a panic attack. After all, when you exercise, your heart rate goes up, you begin to sweat, and your breathing becomes heavier.
Don’t panic – it’s not an attack! Tell yourself this over and over while you’re exercising. Realize that there’s a big difference between the physical side of exercise and what happens when you exercise.

2. Smell the roses.
How do you smell the roses? How about investing some money to go on that one trip you’ve been dreaming about? Visit a country with lots of exotic places to jolt your imagination and spur your creativity. You need to detach from your daily activities and venture a little bit.

3. Help others cope with their problems.
It is very therapeutic when you engross yourself in helping others. You will be surprised how many people’s problems are worse than those you may be facing. You can offer others assistance in countless ways. Don’t
curl up in your bed and let depression and stress take hold of you.
Get out and help somebody. But be careful. Don’t get caught up in other people’s problems in an attempt to forget about your own.
I am constantly being called by friends and family when they want to vent or get advice. I joke and tell them “Don’t call the ‘crazy’ person for advice!” But there are times that I find myself worrying about the ones who call me and I get caught up in what they’re going through. This just gives me more stress than I already have and I find that I have to step away and re-assess myself and my priorities.
I’m now to the point where I can tell them that I just can’t deal with it right now and to call back later.
Sometimes, they get upset, but more often than not, they understand. But I’ve learned not to get too upset about their reactions. If it won’t matter in a week, it should matter right now.

4. Laugh a little.
By now you’ve heard that laughter is a good internal medicine. It relieves tension and loosens the muscles. It causes blood to flow to the heart and brain. More importantly, laughter releases a chemical that rids the body of pains.
Every day, researchers discover new benefits of laughter. Let me ask you this question: “Can you use a good dose of belly-shaking laughter every now and then?” Of course you can. What you are waiting for? Go a comedy club or rent some funny movies.

5. Wear your knees out.
If there were one sustainable remedy I could offer you when the going gets tough, it would be prayer. Many people, depending on their faith, might call it meditation. It doesn’t matter to me what you call it, as long as you have a place to run to.

6. Make stress your friend
Acknowledge that stress is good and make stress your friend! Based on the body’s natural “fight or flight” response that burst of energy will enhance your performance at the right moment. I’ve yet to see a top sportsman totally relaxed before a big competition. Use stress wisely to push yourself that little bit harder when it counts most.

7. Stress is contagious
What we mean by this is that negative people can be a huge stressor. Negativity breeds stress and some people know how to do nothing but complain. Now you can look at this in one of two ways. First, they see you as a positive, upbeat person and hope that you can bring them back “up”. If that’s not it, then they’re just a negative person and can’t feel better about themselves unless those around them are negative as well.
Don’t get caught up in their downing behavior.
Recognize that these kinds of people have their own stress and then limit your contact with them. You can try to play stress doctor and teach them how to better manage their stress, but be aware that this may contribute more to your own stress, so tread lightly.

8. Copy good stress managers
When people around are losing their head, which keeps calm? What are they doing differently? What is their attitude? What language do they use? Are they trained and experienced?
Figure it out from afar or sit them down for a chat.
Learn from the best stress managers and copy what they do.

9. Use heavy breathing.
You can trick your body into relaxing by using heavy breathing. Breathe in slowly for a count of 7 then breathe out for a count of 11. Repeat the 7-11 breathing until your heart rate slows down, your sweaty palms dry off and things start to feel more normal.

10. Stop stress thought trains
It is possible to tangle yourself up in a stress knot all by yourself. “If this happens, then that might happen and then we’re all up the creek!” Most of these things never happen, so why waste all that energy worrying needlessly?
Give stress thought-trains the red light and stop them in their tracks. Okay so it might go wrong – how likely is that and what can you do to prevent it?

11. Know your stress hot spots and trigger points
Presentations, interviews, meetings, giving difficult feedback, tight deadlines… My heart rate is cranking up just writing these down!
Make your own list of stress trigger points or hot spots. Be specific. Is it only presentations to a certain audience that get you worked up? Does one project because more stress than another? Did you drink too much coffee?
Knowing what causes your stress is powerful information, as you can take action to make it less stressful. Do you need to learn some new skills? Do you need extra resources? Do you need to switch to decaffeinated coffee?

12. Eat, drink, sleep and be merry!
Lack of sleep, poor diet and no exercise wreaks havoc on our body and mind. Kind of obvious, but worth mentioning as it’s often ignored as a stress management technique. Listen to your mother and don’t burn the candle at both ends!
Avoid using artificial means to dealing with your stress. That means don’t automatically pour a glass of wine when you think you’re getting stressed out and don’t light up a cigarette. In actuality, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, and drugs can make the problem worse. A better idea is to practice the relaxation techniques we’ve given you. Then, once you’re relaxed, you can have that glass of wine if you want.

13. Go outside and enjoy Mother Nature.
A little sunshine and activity can have amazing ramifications on your stress level and will enhance your entire outlook towards life. Your improved attitude will have a positive effect on everyone in your family and/ or circle
of friends; things which seem overwhelming will soon become trivial matters, causing you to wonder what the predicament was. Not only will you be less stressed, you will be healthier, happier, and more energetic; ready to face whatever obstacles come your way.

14. Give yourself permission to be a 'kid' again.
What did you enjoy when you were a child? Draw; paint; be creative. Play with Play- dough, dance, or read. Play music, allow yourself freedom to express yourself without worry that you're not keeping with the image of who you are 'supposed' to be. Just relax and enjoy yourself. We all have a little child in us and it's a good idea to allow expression of the child within from time to time.
If I might say so, this suggestion is excellent and very therapeutic.

15. Don't set unrealistic for goals for yourself.
Many of us set ourselves up for defeat simply by setting unrealistic goals for ourselves. For example, if you are dieting, realize you cannot lose 40 pounds in one or two months. Or maybe you are trying to reach a goal of obtaining a particular job position; whatever your goal is allow sufficient time to reach your goals and realize occasional setbacks may occur.
If you reach your goal without any delays, you will be even happier with yourself for arriving quicker than you planned, but don't expect it. In fact don't expect anything; expectations and reality are often two entirely different things.

16. Learn it is OK to say 'no' occasionally.
Often, many of us feel we have to say 'yes' to everyone, every time we are asked for help and feel that we must respond in a positive fashion. But, remember, you cannot be all things to all people. You must first meet your own needs before you can truly give others what they need while at the same time keeping yourself happy.

17. You do not have to do everything your family, friends, and others ask.
Of course you can help others, but first make sure you have done what is necessary to take care of yourself.

18. Make time for yourself, your number one priority; once your own needs are met you will find you have more time for others. And you may find more pleasure in helping others when you don't feel that you must always put others needs before your own.

19. Scream at the top of your lungs – as loud as you can. While this may not be feasible in your home, it works great when you’re in your car with the windows rolled up. Let out a guttural yelp from deep down inside. It’s liberating!

20. Sing.
As we said in the previous chapter, music can be extremely beneficial when getting rid of stress.
Think how much better you can feel when you belt out “Copacabana” at the top of your lungs! Who cares if you can’t carry a tune? You’re doing this for you!

21. Take up a new hobby like knitting or crocheting.
Don't worry about being good at it. It's the process that's beneficial. Sitting still while performing repetitive movements is calming and stabilizing for many people.
It can be time to collect your thoughts.

22. Start a garden.
Even apartment-dwellers can do this. Inside in pots, pots on the patio, pots, a small spot in your yard. There is a little work to setting it up.
Tending plants, fruits, vegetables, flowers and watching them grow, bloom, or yield food is rewarding.
Avid gardeners say working a garden is the best way to control stress and worry. An added benefit is the creation of a more beautiful, restful environment.

23. Play with a dog or cat.
Experts say pet owners have longer lives and fewer stress symptoms that nonpet owners. Playing with your pet provide good vibrations – for you and for the pet! It’s a form of social interaction with no pressure to meet anyone’s expectations!

24. Look at the stars and the moon.
It can be a very humbling experience to lay on a blanket with your hands behind your head and gaze up into the night sky.
It’s more than humbling; it’s downright beautiful and relaxing!
When you look at the vastness of the sky, you realize that our problems are small compared to that.

25. Treat yourself to some comfort food. But be careful or over-eating could become your big stressor.
Enjoy in moderation and make your self feel better.

26. Swing.
Remember the feeling of sitting inside that little piece of leather on the playground as you sway back and forth and feel the wind whipping through your hair? Do that! If you don’t have a swing in your yard, go to a playground and remember to pump your legs back and forth to see how high you can go. It’s liberating!

27. Take a candle lit bubble bath.
Even you guys out there can benefit from a warm bath bathed in the soft glow of candlelight. Lay your head back, feel the bubbles and the warm water, and let your stress go right down the drain when you pull the plug!

Quick start guide to raise your self-esteem

Here are several tips on how to start.

1. Try to stop thinking negative thoughts about yourself. If you're used to focusing on your shortcomings, start thinking about positive aspects of yourself that outweigh them. When you catch yourself being too critical, counter it by saying something positive about yourself. Each day, write down three things about yourself that make you happy.

2. Aim for accomplishments rather than perfection. Some people become paralyzed by perfection. Instead of holding yourself back with thoughts like, "I won't audition for the play until I lose 10 pounds," think about what you're good at and what you enjoy, and go for it. 

3. View mistakes as learning opportunities. Accept that you will make mistakes because everyone does. Mistakes are part of learning. Remind yourself that a person's talents are constantly developing, and everyone excels at different things — it's what makes people interesting. 

4. Try new things. Try experimenting with different activities that will help you get in touch with your talents. Then take pride in new skills you develop. 

5. Recognize what you can change and what you can't. If you realize that you're unhappy with something about yourself that you can change, and then start today. If it's something you can't change (like your height), then start to work toward loving yourself the way you are. 

6. Set goals. Think about what you'd like to accomplish, and then make a plan for how to do it. Stick with your plan and keep track of your progress. 

7. Exercise! You'll relieve stress, and be healthier and happier. 

8. Have fun. Ever found yourself thinking stuff like "I'd have more friends if I were thinner"? Enjoy spending time with the people you care about and doing the things you love. Relax and have a good time — and avoid putting your life on hold.

9. Use the 10 minute technique.  People with poor self-esteem often fail to give themselves enough time and space. So find 10 minutes every day to be alone and to just sit and do nothing. Some people find it helpful to close their eyes and imagine a country scene or the sight and sound of waves gently lapping against the seashore. During these 10 minutes, allow yourself to feel peaceful and happy. Enjoy this time. It is yours - and yours alone. And you deserve it.  Finding 10 minutes for you is a caring thing to do and you will feel better for doing it.

10. Act confidently. People will sense your self-confidence and respond positively to you, strengthening your image and self-image all at once.

11. Practice breathing easily, freely and deeply and then think of it. It implicitly says you should believe in yourself and do it without any help from others, this in turn enhances your self-esteem.

12. Think back to when you did something new for the first time.  Learning something new is often accompanied by feelings of nervousness, lack of self belief and high stress levels, all of which are necessary parts of the learning process. The next time you feel under-confident, remembering this will remind you that it's perfectly normal - you're just learning!

13. Do something you’re good at.  How about swimming, running, dancing, cooking, gardening, climbing, painting, writing… If possible, it should be something that holds your attention and requires enough focus to get you into that state of 'flow' where you forget about everything else. You will feel more competent, accomplished and capable afterwards, great antidotes to low self esteem!  And while you're at it, seriously consider doing something like this at least once a week. People who experience 'flow' regularly seem to be happier and healthier.

14. Stop thinking about yourself.  This may sound strange, but low self esteem is often accompanied by too much focus on the self. Doing something that absorbs you and holds your attention can quickly make you feel better.

15. Remember everything you have achieved.  This is where your journal can come in handy.  This can be difficult at first, but after a while, you'll develop a handy mental and written list of self-esteem boosting memories that you can refer to often. And if you're thinking "But I've never achieved anything", I'm not talking about climbing Everest here.   They can be things like passing your driving test (despite being nervous), passing exams (despite doubting that you would), playing team sport, getting fit (even if you let it slip later), saving money for something, trying to help someone (even if it didn't work) and so on.

16. Choose something that brings about a good thought and focus on it when you are feeling blue.  Country singer Clint Black wrote a song that included the lyric “Ain’t it funny how a melody can bring back a memory.”  It doesn’t have to be a song, though, it could be the smell of a certain perfume that reminds you of a special person or even a piece of clothing that you were wearing during an especially wonderful time.  Use this stimulus and focus on it.  Let those good feelings wash over you and chase away those “I’m no good” blues.

17. Clear out the junk: This means anything hurtful and unconstructive that you’ve been told by someone you care or cared about (or even some you didn’t) is to be taken with a grain of salt. It is one thing to be given constructive criticism in life, but quite another when people are downright mean about it. Remember it’s the offending party’s issue. NOT yours.

18. List first why you believe the negativity you tell yourself (i.e., I’m too old. I’m too fat. Nobody loves me. I’m never good enough. etc.); laugh at that piece of paper you just wrote on; THEN tear it up and move on to the next strategy.

19. Count your blessings, which can include things people actually take for granted, such as food and shelter, access to a computer, etc. 

20. Make a list of what you love to do, starting from childhood until now and try to find time to do it at least once a week, even if it’s just for a few minutes.

21. List at least three things that you would love to have the courage to do.  Then formulate a plan to actually do them.  You may not be able to at first, but know that if there are other people out there who can and do, you can too.

22. Realize once and for all that your self-worth and self-esteem is defined by you and only you.  You cannot rely on someone else for your happiness.  Another person’s view of you is immaterial.  Where happiness and self-esteem comes from is inside of you.  Once you embrace that fully, the transformation will begin!

23. Choose to be happy.  Happiness is a state of mind. The Dalai Lama says that the very purpose of life is to seek happiness. He believes that if you train the mind to be happy, you will be. Likewise, you can train yourself for higher self-esteem.

24. Be passionate about something.  This can be anything.  Be passionate about yourself.  Be passionate about your hobbies.  Be passionate about raising your self-esteem.  Passion takes hold of you and feels like “fire in the belly.” It is a source of power that enables you to get fired about life and make a difference. The more passion and zest you feel the more alive and brightly lit you are.

25. Reward your successes.  Set yourself up for success by breaking big goals into daily action steps and take time to acknowledge and celebrate the small successes. This will feed your need for recognition and provides the extra push to keep you moving forward.  Rewards could be as simple as that delectable piece of turtle cheesecake you saw in the bakery or as huge as a dream vacation.  Either way, you deserve to celebrate your successes.  When you do, you’ll be rewarded in many more ways than just materially!